Finding Zerona

Have to get some of this fat off, still.  I’ve peddled so much on the stationary bikes at the gym, I have clocked in enough miles for a trip to Bangkok and back.  I’m getting good exercise, but I guess my fat has adhered itself to my skin — for life.  I initiated some liposuction research, but decided that was not for me.  First of all, the procedure description sounds grotesque.  Second, I’d have to be under general anesthetic for which there are risks, particularly to the heart.  Not that my health indicates such a problem.  The only heart problems I’ve ever had was a broken one.  Besides, I figure there will be some time in my future when I will absolutely have to be under general anesthetic for some life saving reason.  No need to use up one of my options with an elective surgery.  I began looking elsewhere.

 One day while I began folding my eleventh metric ton of laundry, I flicked on the television and there was Rachael Ray.  My ears perked up when I heard her mention a new fat loss program called Zerona.  The cute doctor in the white lab coat described the process as cool laser, not the stinging rubber—band—snap kind.  The laser breaks up fat globules into the body cavity, he explained, and the patient sloughs it off.  To demonstrate, an audience member volunteered to be the guinea pig.  Out rolled a multiple Hydra snake headed machine.  The victim lay down under the writhing Hydra heads while bright red lights whirled around over her abdomen. (Audience members were handed out special sunglasses so no one would inadvertently get cornea burns.)  When Rachael asked how she felt, the lady said she could not feel anything at all.  Nothing.  The demonstrating doctor said that is the way it works — no pain.

 Leaving my unfolded laundry behind, I raced to my office and initiated a Google search.  Aha.  Zerona is even FDA approved.  And, painless.  Two good things.  But, as I know, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.  What was the hitch?  Was there one?

 (Stay tuned for Susan’s search for fat loss continues.)


2 Responses to Finding Zerona

  1. Angie Kurtzman says:

    I am eagerly awaiting answers. Is it too good to be true? Is there a hitch? If so, what is it? These are important questions, so get on it!

  2. Susan McClurg Berman says:

    Stay tuned for the next installment . . . to be published here soon!

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