Because Mr. James Dalessandro, author of “1906,” so recommended it, I set out to buy myself a Dragon. No, not the kind of Dragon that breathes fire, nor the kind of Dragon that tried to destroy dear Harry Potter. This one is only available at electronics stores. It’s a dictation devise for computers.
For my installation, I waited for a cold, sunny day – the cold to keep me indoors, and the sunshine to add to my ready-for-anything optimism. I installed the program and began to follow the instructions with briming optimism. I even dictated a piece about our Maracaibo maids for my book.
What’s this, I asked as I looked over what I had dictated. The formatting was off. There were no indents and the paragraphs were not doublespaced. How do I go about fixing this?
Still optimistic and now determined (the hopeless romantic I am), I began searching through Dragon’s infinite amount of information to find answers. They weren’t forthcoming, but I was still hopefull. After all, how much more difficult could it be?
Today is a rainy and cold day. I decided this was the perfect opportunity for me to work out the kinks between me and my Dragon. I began immediately after lunch and I read, reread and re-re-read information and multiple Dragon help tips. It’s well into the dinner hour now. Here I still sit in front of my laptop. The only things I can make my Dragon do successfully is turn the microphone on and off and take straight dictation. Still no double spaced paragraphs and no indents. When I say “paragraph,” all my Dragon does is type the word paragraph. Now I have a headache and my eyes are twirling around in opposite directions. Either I can’t do Dragon-speak clearly, or I have the dumbest Dragon on earth.
For anyone out there thinking of buying their own Dragon, let me give you a piece of free advice: When you buy your Dragon, buy a big bottle of aspirin at the same time. Either that, or a bottle of Wild Turkey.
You are going to need it, honey.