Empty Land?

We were driving back to my dad’s place, my sister and me.  To the north, the towering Mount San Gorgonio, tallest mountain in Southern California, hovered over us, with lines of snow descending its steep canyons.  Next to the road, cows grazed in a seasonal green pasture, ignoring the dramatic scenery that surrounded them.

“Isn’t that sad,” my sister said, “they want to put five thousand homes on this empty land.”

I turned to her.  I could not believe in these challenging times for real estate of all kinds, that a development like that would make it to completion.

“Really,” I said.  “Are you sure, Kathy?  There are thousands of homes around us in this little town alone that are vacant or foreclosed right now.  That doesn’t make sense.”

“Well, Dad and I read it in the newspaper.”

This statement from her, I know meant that it must be true.

Empty Land.  Empty?  Just because it did not have roads and underground utilities, sidewalks, and homes with manicured lawns and fire-retardant roofs, dogs in the front yard behind chain-link fences barking at every stranger on his morning walk?  RV’s up on railroad ties with their wheels removed because gas was too expensive?  ADT signs posted near the front door warning visitors to keep their distance?

Empty land, indeed.

I thought about that comment as I took my brisk walk up the road toward the “empty land” on the edge of present day development.  On my way – in just one morning walk – I spotted a flock, six or eight to be precise, of western bluebirds frolicking in a small pine wood next to the open pasture.  The females twittered and the deep blue males followed.  Then, several bright yellow American goldfinches burst into their canary-like song.  Further along, in a part of the subdivision that had not yet been built on, I was treated to a contest of meadowlark song between two brightly colored males sitting in opposite corners of a prematurely built cinder-block wall – a signature of Southern California privacy shields.

I walked further up the road, past the Baptist church and the old Morongo Indian reservation well.  Four beautiful horses grazed in the “empty land” that stretched from the other side of the road up toward the high country beyond.  I witnessed four large hawks – or maybe they were eagles, too far in the distance to be sure, screeching and circling their two nests on consecutive Edison high voltage towers. This was a land of contrast for sure.

Empty land?  The native grasses had gone to seed and blew back and forth in the cool spring wind – the waves of grain of our national songs.  Ground squirrels scurried about in the field at the end of the road, where civilization yielded, finally to the (empty) land.  I walked on a little way, but felt more and more like I was out of my element.  That I was trespassing into a natural scene that had done just fine by itself for hundreds of millions of years – without our homes and RV’s and roads – thank you very much.

I turned around and headed back to my dad’s small mobile home, where I sleep in his living room and dread the next administration of morphine for his pain.  I look forward to the morning when I can go on my walk and once again experience the abundance of this “empty land”.

eBooks: Opportunity or Disaster?

Much has been written recently about the demise of the printed book industry.  That is exactly what it became – an industry.  I have heard so many stories from fellow writers who were screwed by the traditional publishing industry that the new paradigm of eBook publishing seems like a dream come true/  Is it, or is the slow, lingering death of the traditional publishing industry spell doom for authors?

First of all, writers will write until the end of time.  We do not write to become famous or rich, although a lucky few do.  We will not abandon writing merely because Harper Collins or Random House files for bankruptcy (they will eventually).  Discouraging as the collapse of the traditional publishing houses may be to consider, the link with writers and writing has been thin at best.

I have been encouraged by stories from my writing friends of the new simplicity of reaching an audience through e-publishing.  Many, many “middlemen” have been cut out of the decision loop.  Agents with stacks of manuscripts to their ceilings, publishing house acquisition editors who have never accepted unsolicited manuscripts (read: we want the author to be famous before we consider the book), distributors who return crates of books unsold to publishers because not enough copies were sold in their stores.

For every successful, NY Times Best Seller author, perhaps 100 hangers-on exist in their “food chain” – a chain that will surely die in the next 10-20 years.  Certainly, these best-selling authors are happy enough to support this food chain as long the royalties flow in.  But the pressure for them to produce another best-seller every six months to feed the beast is not conducive to a thoughtful, well-written novel.  This is the chain of “middle-men” that Amazon and other direct publishers seek to bypass, with resultant increased revenues to both the author and their bottom line.

Is this right?  Is it wrong?  Neither – it is just different. And consistent with emerging e-book and e-reader trends.  it in fact is a trend that will not reverse.  So, as emerging writers we should embrace this trend and not fight it.  I don’t know if we will reach our intended audience or not – I am not smart enough to have figured out a fail-safe method of e-book promotion and marketing yet.  But someone will, and if our writing quality is good enough and our themes, characterizations, and story lines are strong enough, we will succeed and will receive the necessary promotion, interest, and reward.

In the new publishing paradigm as in the old, it still boils down to the quality and enjoyment of the reading experience.  Write on!

Kitten or Lion? A Character Development Technique

I saw a great photo affixed to my hairdresser’s license today.  The picture showed an orange tabby kitten looking in a mirror that reflected back the face of a lion.  It occurred to me that this could be a great question to ask when you are flushing out a character for a novel.  For example, how does your protagonist see themselves—as an innocent victim or a fierce fighter ready to take on the world?  Does this self-image vary between interactions with different people?  Does his or her personality change during the course of the novel? 

After you have answered the above questions, dig a little deeper:

How would the character’s parent or spouse describe your protagonist? 

More importantly, how do you, the writer, see your protagonist?  Have you captured that personification on the page?

Surprise! A Way to Develop Character

On our first day in Paris during a family vacation, we were hit with a number of surprises. It got me thinking that the element of surprise is a great device to develop the characters in a novel. Using my own experiences as examples, I’ve categorized them into three types: observational, experiential and thwarted expectations.

Observational surprises can be physical or a change in self-awareness. For example, during our airplane descent, I caught a glimpse of the Eiffel Tower and the structure a reddish brown, not silver as I had expected. I also notice a change in my typical behavior. I’ve been accused of planning every second of vacation time. A reputation I have earned over the years. I had a plan of attack for activities our family would do on arrival. My husband and I had worked on this itinerary for months. Instead, during our first day, we left our rented apartment and randomly walked the streets. Rather than being disappointed in the change of plans, I felt a strange sense of freedom.

Experiential surprises are those that I define as those derived from interactions with people or things. In Paris, I was totally caught off guard when a French woman asked me for directions. Another experiential surprise was how much I enjoyed taking photos of my family imitating poses on statues. Here we are in Paris, looking at the Louvre and Norte Dame, and that silliness will be a highlight of my first day in Paris.

Thwarted expectations are surprises that are unpleasant. Our shuttle driver in Paris was 20 minutes late in meeting us, during which time I kept thinking we were either waiting in the wrong area or we’d been scammed (we’d prepaid). I had not used the restroom and when our driver said it would only take 20 to 30 minutes to get to our apartment, I decided to wait. Two hours later, and I suspect several wrong turns later, we arrived and then I had to wait even longer for the apartment key. Also, I went in search of lunch and the crepes I brought back for were blackened on one side. Not overdone, but charred. I was famished and ate them anyway. But I expected the food in Paris to be perfect. But it got me pondering the question what a given character in a novel would do – storm back to the restaurant and ask for his or her money back? Throw the crepes in the garbage and shrug it off? Take his anger/disappointment out on his or her family?

Which of these categories do you think is the most valuable for character development?

Retreats – Proof That Writing Does Not Have to Be Solitary

My critique group organized a local writer’s retreat at Westminster Retreat Center last month. This was my second retreat experience. The first time I had joined a group where I knew no one. My productivity was fabulous, the setting was beautiful, but I did not experience a sense of comoraderie, so last fall I proposed the idea of a getaway for my critique group. The idea was well received and within a month we’d settled on a location.

A contract was signed, checks were written, and we issued a few invitations to expand our group to meet the required head count.

The lodge grounds were quiet and peaceful and the food was fabulous. We were fortunate to have mild weather and a swimming pool where we could cool off. At 5:00 p.m., we had a wine and snack gathering.

I suspect this will become the first annual WOTJ retreat. Participants had an overwhelming positive response by the morning of the second day. It was a privilege to spend time amidst talented, creative individuals. Not only did my novel improve in leaps and bounds, but I had a marvelous weekend.

Stranger Than Fiction

Here’s the story. At the end, you can vote in the comments on what you think actually happened.

I awoke early from, of all things, a college dorm room. and decided to go for a walk. It was a few hours before my daughter’s soccer game that morning A bike path bordering a wildlife reserve provided a scenic backdrop for my jaunt. Moments later, a sheriff’s car passed by at a crawl. The officer slowed and then came to a full stop. I pressed on catching up to the car and all the while wondering if he was looking for a missing student who’d had too much to drink, and perhaps got lost on their way home.

“Excuse me,” the officer called as I approached, “can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure,” I said.

I mean really, who says “no” to a cop? He was thirty-something with a pleasant face complete with ruddy cheeks and a burly physique.  No partner with him.  I found I wanted to help him, uniform or not.

“Since you are walking, can you keep your eye out for a bloody butterfly knife? Do you know what that looks like?”

It took me a moment to process the idea of a bloody knife.  This was no lost student.  Had someone died?  I had never heard of a butterfly knife.  I shook my head in the negative. He proceeded to describe a double-bladed knife with holes in the handle. It sounded like a scary weapon.

“If you find it, stay put, and call 911.”

I nodded, still shocked that I may have been enlisted to assist in a murder investigation.    Needless to say, my pleasant morning walk had taken on a whole new tone. Was I about to discover a murder weapon? If I did, would I have to testify in a murder trial?

The following options tell the potential outcomes to the whole story.

Option 1. The above never happened, it is the premise I thought of for a new murder mystery novel.

Option 2. As I ambled along after the patrol car left, I spotted a Lincoln’s sparrow. The bird startled and as I tracked its progress into the weeds, I saw a flash of silver. I called 911, waited as instructed, and missed my daughter’s soccer game, while the police questioned me and collected evidence.

Option 3. I kept my eyes peeled for the weapon as requested. The thick vegetation went on and on. Looking for this knife was equivalent to finding a needle in a haystack. The reserve came to an abrupt end at the next intersection. At the stoplight, to my relief, I hadn’t found the knife. I turnfinished my walk and went on to my daughter’s soccer game with a new appreciation how difficult it is to gather evidence and find a murder weapon.

Option 4. I walked down the path next to the reserve without seeing anything. At the stoplight, I opted to go straight and avoid the southern border of the wildlife area preserve, thinking the landscaped business center would be a stupid place to toss a murder weapon. Too many gory images had filled my mind ever since the sheriff had left.  I stopped at an urban creek about midway to the next intersection looking to spot a vocalizing song sparrow.  At the bottom of the flowing creek, I spotted the knife.  No blood though, the creek had washed all traces away.  Still, I recoiled, my heart thudding. A quick glance in both directions confirmed the sheriff had not returned, but also that no one watched my movements. I called 911 as instructed and gave my location. After I hung up, I hazarded a second look and to my horror, what I’d seen as a knife, was actually the crossed leaves of a eucalyptus branch.  My imagination had gotten the best of me.  I was forced to wait for the cops to arrive and apologize for my foolish mistake.

Option 5. I continued on with my walk without incident, but after turning around I noticed a man carrying a model airplane under one arm and a thin branch in the other. He periodically stopped and searched through the bushes with his psuedo walking stick. As I drew closer the man stopped whacking at the vegetation and studied me. He had the weathered, wrinkled skin if a hard drinker. I averted my gaze and kept walking.  I waited until he was out of earshot before calling 911. Moments later, the sheriff appeared seemingly out of no where. The man was apprehended, frisked and cuffed. I got a friendly wave from the officer, but whether or not the man was a murderer, I’ll never know.

Which option did you choose? Why? What made it seem reasonable? Other than option 1, each of the other options do have an element of truth and option 3 was what really happened.  However, I did see a Lincoln’s sparrow in the preserve, a singing song sparrow caused me to pause along an urban creek south of the preserve, and I did see a eucalyptus branch in the stream, there was even a creepy looking man carrying a model airplane and whacking at vegetation near where the sheriff had stopped me. The rest is all my imagination.

Repetition

Word repetition can either work for or against a writer.  Seeing a name, noun, or verb (especially a passive word like “was”) can suck the life out of otherwise compelling prose.  So under what circumstances, does repetition enhance a story?  Consider the following passage from Richard Wright’s Native Son:

“He lay on the cold floor sobbing; but really he was standing up strongly with contrite heart, holding his life in his hands, staring at it with a wondering question. He lay on the cold floor sobbing; but really he was pushing forward with his puny strength against a world too big and too strong for him. He lay on the cold floor sobbing; but really he was groping forward with fierce zeal into a welter of circumstances which he felt contained a water of mercy for the thirst of his heart and brain.”

Here Wright is essentially punctuating the complex feelings of Bigger through repetition of his physical state.  The rhythm of the words is in perfect harmony with the dire situation in which Bigger has found himself.   

Repetition can also be used to give voice to a character. Throughout Native Son, Bigger has to make some difficult and important decisions.  In these moments Wright often starts out Bigger’s internal thoughts with either “And yes” or “And no.”  It works because Wright uses the device consistently and the reader believes that this is how Bigger reasons through problems.  In essence, the repetition is consistent Bigger’s voice and enhances the characterization of the narrator’s personality.

From Agents and Editors – Top Reason for Rejection

I heard it yesterday, I’ve heard it before and I have no doubt I’ll hear it again.  I’ve been to dozens of presentations by agents and editors over the last decade.  Invariably, they will discuss, or will be asked, what they are looking for in a manuscript.  Many reasons have been offered as to why a manuscript will get rejected by an editor or agent, but the most common reason is that they do not think the characters are developed enough.  My own experience as a reader is that a lot of literary fiction you find on the shelves are character-driven novels. 

Abigail Samoun, former editor of Tricycle Press, gave a talk to the winners of the Mount Diablo Branch of CWC’s Young Writers Contest.  She took us through the stages (a 5 year process), Paul Llewellyn, author of “The Tilting House (thetiltinghouse.com) went through on his journey to publication.  One of the issues Llewellyn had to deal with was developing his main character so that he felt real.  I, too, have gotten rejections where the agent’s biggest concern was that he or she did not like (or did not care enough about) my main character. 

Character development is not one of my strengths as a writer.  I am very much a plot driven storyteller.  It should also be no surprise that, as a reader, I am also drawn to page turners with lots of twists and turns to the plot.   I really don’t need to know the entire life history of the main character, give me action, surprise me, and I will be a satisfied reader.   

My book club recently read a thriller novel plot (Michael Connelly’s The Lincoln Lawyer) that I loved because of the plot.  One of our members described it as a “Brain Twinkie.”   The book is fast-paced, something that is needed for the thriller genre, but I wonder if she was also reacting to the main character – a smart, but not very likeable person.   

As a plot-driven writer, I have found character development exercises useful.  Here are a few websites that provide a list of questions or exercises to bring depth into your characters:

http://www.freelancewriting.com/articles/character-development-secrets-part-one.php

http://storyfix.com/the-three-dimensions-of-character-development

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976908598

The more a writer knows about their characters, the better.  A writer must know what makes their characters tick before they can bring them to life on the page.

Digging Deeper

It is not enough to say your character is uncomfortable, or that he or she fiddled with her necklace while waiting to be called into a job interview, or that their insides felt this or that way. A writer needs to dig deeper. Take, for instance, this scene from Richard Wright’s Native Son:

He wanted to wave his hand and blot out the white man who was making him feel this. If not that, he wanted to blot himself out. He had not raised his eyes to the level of Mr. Dalton’s face once since he’d been in the house. He stood with his knees bent, his lips partly open, his shoulders stooped; and his eyes held a look that only went to the surface of things.

Notice how Wright uses a mixture of internal thought and physicality to convey the character’s (Bigger’s) discomfort. Wright shows us Bigger’s attitude, rather than telling the reader straight out. If you are struggling to reveal a character’s emotion, look around the setting and see if you can find an object or person to use. Then dig deep and overwrite. Find at least three sentences. Then take a break and review what you’ve created. You may not end up using it all, but chances are by digging deeper, you’ve found a fresh way to portray your characters emotions.

I struggle with trying to capture melancholy in words. What emotion(s) do you find hardest to capture?

On Naming Characters

I recently read a short story by my brother-in-law where he’d blended fact with fiction.  He’d renamed all the real life characters, including his dog.  His boxer mix known to all as Macaroni, or Roni for short, had become Noodles.   When I asked him how he’d chosen the names, he’d said he picked the first thing that came to his mind.

I tend to put more thought into my character’s names.  For my paranormal YA novel, I wanted my protagonist’s name to be generic enough that any young girl reading the story could imagine herself in Sarah’s predicament.  For my two teen boy ghosts, I want common and timeless names, not trendy labels that would give away what era they may have died.  Hence, David and Greg came into being.  In my Hawaii novel, I have a red-haired character, so I looked up the Hawaiian word for red, and Ehu was born.

How do you pick your character’s names?  Do you ever rename them as the story unfolds?  Is a plot or setting shift a trigger for the name change?